De-Stress Your Weeknights

Outsource what you can

* Tame that stress-inducing pile of schoolwork. Train kids to put permission slips, tests, etc. in folders marked for each child that you can review in the relative calm after dinner, says Donna Smallin, author of A to Z Storage Solutions. "To get kids to use their folders, put a love note or dollar inside now and then for the first few weeks," she adds.
* Find another set of hands. Having a helper to play with younger kids, fold laundry, or walk the dog is a godsend, says Diane Chapman of Briarcliff Manor, NY, who occasionally hires one from 4 to 7 p.m. Check your local middle school or church; expect to pay $5 to $12 per hour.

Change your mind-set

* Find your "sweater moment." Having a physical routine when you walk through the door — remember Mr. Rogers swapping his jacket for a comfy cardigan? — helps you and kids transition when they're most likely to be clamoring for attention and your nerves are frayed, says communications expert Laurie Puhn, author of Instant Persuasion. "Don't say, 'Mommy needs five minutes,' since kids often don't understand time," says Puhn. "But they do understand a physical action like changing your shirt. Say, 'Hi, guys — I can't wait to hear about your day. Stay here while I change my clothes; I'll be right back, and then we'll catch up.'"
* Laugh at the chaos. The next time you're driving to the music store at 7 p.m. because your son forgot to mention he was out of saxophone reeds until (when else?) the night before the band concert, remember this: "See the humor in your crazy nights," says motivational speaker Leslie Charles, author of Bless Your Stress. If you didn't have such an overflowing, full, and productive life, weeknights would be a lot calmer — but also a lot more boring.

Say yes to not cooking.

To avoid late (and cranky) dinnertimes, why don't you...

* Triple your recipes. I've never been able to spend weekends cooking and freezing dinners ahead of time. Instead, I cook every third night, tripling recipes (chili, lasagna, etc.). I freeze two portions, and then alternate what I serve. With frozen microwave veggies, we're good to go.
* Use the buddy system. Try the same trick, but extend it: Michele Borba, author of 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know, has friends who each make and freeze two casseroles every week and then trade dishes so everyone has a stocked, varied freezer.
* Pick up dinner at lunch. When I worked for a newspaper, I'd often grab a rotisserie chicken while at the deli for lunch and then stash it in the office fridge. No one ever said dinner had to be homemade.