differences between men and women

NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEYA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

life

life is too precious to worry about stupid stuff
so have fun, get drunk, fall in love, say what you want to say
and do what you want to do. Regret nothing
and dont let people who dont matter bring you down.

growing pains

as we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasnt supposed to let us down probably will. You'll have your heart broken probably more than once, and its harder every time. You'll break heart too, so remember how it felt when someone broke yours. You'll fight with your bestfriend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone close to you. So take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt before because every 60 seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.